I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize