Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
