Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
