i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
