she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
