Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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