i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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