Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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