i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
