you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
