Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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