weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
