Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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