Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize