That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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