Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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