Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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