if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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