no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
