Umm I'm too high to move.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize