I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
