Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
