were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
