I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
