the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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