do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
COCAINE IS GR8
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
