so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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