Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
