Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
