I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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