About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
