apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
