I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
