3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just blew my weed a kiss
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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