I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize