I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
