No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
