You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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