I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
