Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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