I swear god or herbie drove my car home
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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