I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
