STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
