I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
