So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize