it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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