I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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