Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
