I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
