ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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