The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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