Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Let's paint friendship bongs
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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