Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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