it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
