My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
