Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
