i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
