I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
