So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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