then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
