I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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