Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
