fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
