I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
