the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
