Just fell off a train. Bad.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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