the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
